Stupidity at its Finest
by CagedInWonderland
Summary: It probably isn't the best idea to ask Castiel questions about his sexuality.


**So this happened after me and a friend had stumbled across this blog on tumblr dedicated to yaoi for MCL- literally, some of the weirdest shit I've seen in a while. I usually love yaoi (I ship Kentin and Alexy) but this was just…hilarious. Can't remember what the blog was called, but this is what happened at five in the morning last Saturday. Also, this wasn't written to offend anybody, it's just satire. So…enjoy, I guess?**

"That poor boy is so pussy whipped it _hurts_." The 'poor boy' in question was in fact Kentin, who had insisted upon carrying Aura's books for her to their fifth period class. He shot the redhead a glare, but said nothing; it was _definitely_ a step-up from practically peeing his pants every time the guy looked at him.

"He wouldn't leave me alone until I gave him all of my shit," She said, motioning to the camo-clad boy who was not only toting her stack of books, but also had her messenger bag draped over one of his broad shoulders.

Pussy whipped was an _understatement_.

"Besides,"She continued, hoisting herself onto the desk opposite of Castiel, propping her boots on his lap. "At least he's a _gentleman_… unlike some used tampons I know." He threw a wad of paper at her head, and she retaliated by taking the gum out of her mouth and forcefully stamping it on the side of his face.

"Slut."

"Douche bag."

"Cunt."

"Dickless panty-waist."

"Ugly, sloppy, flat chested excuse for a female."

Kentin pulled the seat out from under Castiel, causing the boy to fall on his ass with a painful 'thud'. If there was one thing Castiel would _never_ understand, it would have to be Kentin's fierce loyalty to the freckled blonde- that, and his obsession with camo _everything_.

Aura snorted with laughter and awarded the brunette with a high-five as he took a protective stance next to her, his arms crossed intimidatingly over his chest. Aura, on any other day, would have told him to _cut it the fuck out_ with the over-protectiveness, but decided to let it slide- she had a feeling that what she was about to say was going to seriously enrage the redhead- that, or the situation would be absolutely _hilarious_.

"I wouldn't be talking anyway, _Cassy._ It wouldn't be a surprise if you and Lysander had a thing going on." For a second, Castiel thought about taking the bait- he was already prepared to insinuate that she, Kim, and Rosayla had threesomes together in the locker room- but didn't. Instead, he smirked and reclined back in his chair.

"_As if_. Even if I _was _gay, Lysander would _so_ not be my type." At this, the silver-haired teen buried his face in his hand, trying to not slap the bullshit out of the punk wannabe.

"Can you two _not_?" He asked, but went unheard as Aura looked slightly taken aback, and then quickly brushed it off.

"_Hmmm_… is that right?" She said, leaning forward on her seat, contemplatively tapping her chin with her pointer finger. "So, theoretically speaking, if you _were_ gay, what kind of boy would you be into, Castiel?"

"I don't know. Care to give a few examples?" It was such a blessing to have Mr. Faraize as a teacher; he was paying them no mind, and instead was typing away at his desk- although, he did glance at their huddled group a few times, not daring to question what they were talking about.

"How about…" Aura glanced around the room, then to her left, and finally, her eyes landed on her childhood best friend, who was engaged in a conversation with Armin and Alexy; she didn't doubt that it was about him wearing cargo pants two days in a row. "How about Kentin? Would you drop and give him sixty-nine?" Kim, who was sitting at a desk in front of Castiel crackled with laughter when she turned around, only to see Kentin gaping at Aura like a goldfish out of water. Alexy had his fist shoved in his mouth as he tried desperately not to laugh, his lookalike doing something not unlike his twin.

"…why _me_?" Was all he managed to choke out. But like Lysander, his plea went completely unnoticed.

"Taking off camo boxers with my teeth doesn't sound so appealing." He said, a challenging glint in his charcoal eyes. Kentin feverishly looked between Castiel and Aura, still trying to grasp how this was even happening, and more importantly, _why_.

For entertainment, of course.

"How about Alexy? Hell, might as well throw Armin in there, too. They are inseparable, after all." The two boys at hand immediately stopped laughing and looked at her, their expressions both horrified and extremely disgusted.

"Incest is _not_ the best, dammit!" Armin exclaimed, slamming his fist down on his desk as Alexy tried desperately not to vomit. "We are _not_ the Uchiha brothers! You can't just pair us together because you think we're _hot_!" What he didn't know was that _yes, yes we can._

"Calm down, Game Freak. You two would be sharing Castiel. It's _completely_ up to you if you guys make the situation weird."

"It's already weird!"

Aura casually reached over and slowly petted the side of Armin's head, quietly making 'shhhhh' sounds, muttering _"It's only weird if you make it weird."_

"Nah. Alexy would be lecturing me about how my boxers don't match my socks and it would literally take years trying to pry Armin's PSP from his sticky little fingers. Next one." Alexy stopped gagging as a contemplative look washed over his features, but quickly vanished when his brother grabbed a book and mercilessly slammed it on the side of his face.

"What about Nathaniel-"

_"Absolutely fucking not."_

"What's wrong with Nathaniel?"

"Everything. _Everything's_ wrong with Nathaniel." At the mention of his name, the boy's head snapped up from in between his book. He raised a questioning brow at the two idiotic teenagers, but after Kim warned him he'd be _extremely_ disturbed by their topic of discussion, he turned back to his book with a shake of the head.

"Ok, Cassy. If not Nathaniel, Kentin, Armin, Alexy or Lysander," She said, counting off the names on her fingers. "What about… Dajan?"

"Oh, for the love of _God,_ don't you _dare_ pull me into this." Said the aforementioned teenager, who didn't bother to turn around in his seat to face them. This was only one instance of their _extreme_ shit-fuckery, and he was chagrined to know it was nowhere near their last.

But like everyone before him, he was ignored. "Ehhhh… y'know, I just might. Dajan is one classy mother fucker. I'd bet he'd even buy me dinner first." At this, Dajan sighed and banged his head against his desk, all faith in his generation now completely unsalvageable. "But I think the _real _question here is…if you, _theoretically_, were a lesbian, what would _you_ be into?"

Without missing a beat, Aura smirked and crossed her legs. "Kim, _of course_. Me and her are already a thing, don't you know." The scantily dressed teen walked over to Aura and hugged her around her shoulders, lovingly nuzzling her face into the crook of her neck.

Joking, if course.

"Yep. Back off, _you horny fucking maggots_. She's _mine_." She looked Kentin directly in the eyes as she said this, and not receiving the desired reaction, stuck her tongue completely out of her mouth and licked the side of Aura's face. The blonde completely lost her composure and doubled over with laughter, her giggles racking her body so hard she fell off of the desk.

"Is everything alright?" Mr. Faraize asked, worry creasing his brow as he looked over the monitor of his computer, only to see Kentin pulling a hysterical Aura to her feet. "Does she need to go to the nurse?"

The blonde girl regained her balance and locked eyes with her teacher, the mischievous grin sliding over her face in an instant. _"How about-"_

"_NO_! MR. FARAIZE IS TOO INNOCENT!" Armin exclaimed, clasping his hand firmly over her mouth. While she struggled against his grip, Akexy and Kentin were left to the task of assuring their confused teacher that nothing was wrong, Lysander began pondering over what he had done to make fate so pissed that she gave him to _completely_ retarded best friends, and everyone else was left wondering why Castiel was laughing and crying on the floor and why Aura was being restrained by five different people.

_Never_ a dull moment here at Sweet Amoris.


End file.
